WHERE’S YOUR INNER SANCTUM?

The man cave, tool shed, parlour, dressing room, the majlis. 

Image: CARY WOLINSKY

Where can you find sanctuary from the world?

Too much time is spent and not enough is earned. In fact you should probably think of it the other way around. Normally I'm out earning from others so I can spend on us but for some reason I consider everything I do as spending time. If I'm at work, which is normally 98.3% of my life, I'm earning that chance to spend time the way I want to. I'm sure most people would feel the same desire to flip over the meeting table and berate the other attendees as you walk out of the office back to your life when told you had a real choice to either spend time drinking instant coffee under flouro lights or sip a cool drink in your backyard zen garden.

So let’s say you were able to hack your way through the concrete jungle out into a clearing where your homestead is firmly rooted to the ground.  What next?  You’re not gonna sit on the kerb and cry.  No, in the door, keys in the bowl, shoes off.  If you’ve got a purse, drop it.  If you’ve got someone else’s backpack, you’re a sherpa and you should return it to the mountain top. Last check of the phone before you turn around and… slam, welcome back to the family feud.  Its all good, of course, but the frenzy of the outside world has followed you back in the house and it ain’t over yet. There’s still homework, dinner, bath, story, bed etc. etc. For those without the family unit,  you’ve managed to close the door on the noise a bit earlier in the day, but where are you now?  When your body and brain align in search of respite,retirement, relief, what do you have in your home that provides a sanctuary for your soul?

It could be the TV couch, the balcony, the bedroom, or for the remaining few in this world, a reading chair.  It’s not a hard question to answer because you do it everyday- by routine usually.  Have you ever stopped to think how important this place is for your sanity? And then think about what more you could do to improve it by seeing it for what it is and not just a colour scheme that matches the furniture. 

This is where homes get interesting.  It’s the inner sanctum of personal surroundings that only the invited may enter.  And while your significant other is as important to you as my wife is to me, there’s a requirement here to ignore your marital duties to obey and think of the self.(Note from the editor – that’s never a good thing.)

Different approaches have developed in the world that can be called upon for your own inspiration.  The more diversity within a good idea, usually the better it is. 

For example, for the ultra patient minds there is the Japanese garden to cultivate.  Not the sandbox on your desk with mini rakes. The proper outdoor space protected by the home where you untie your nerves and follow the snaking path of the parallel lines in the stone.  Or for a social approach to congregation of close friends, developed from the separation of sexes in Arabia, you might find yourself at the majlis.  Reclining on rugs or comfortable furniture, sipping coffee and talking the talk.  In the west, blessed with basements, you may find the compromised man reliving his glory days in the man cave.  Fully equipped with sound, TV, PS3, beer fridge, old couches and plenty of neon lighting and tasteful posters falling from the walls. In the proper world of the women folk you get the tastefully starched combination of both; where comfortable furniture is replaced with pristine upright chairs and puffy fabrics, ticking clocks, and dust free side tables with competing porcelain and crystal knick knacks and family photographs.

We’re not all blessed with this luxury of space. But more often it’s realising the importance of being able to switch off.  Turn the mind to the greater issues affecting your life, much like senior management is tasked with strategising the future.  When you lock horns with your life you get a great view of the ground.  You need the opportunity to switch your perspective and see the horizon on a regular basis.  Dr. Seus said, “"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple."  The questions are all around you, so find a way to see the answers beyond them.

Try thinking about how you want to spend time, while you’re busy earning it.  Then design your sanctuary around it.

-BTB